What Is Mature Pride in Country—And Why Is There So Little of It?
What Western psychology can offer us around our defenses we are acting out in our blind pride or blind criticism of our country we live and its impact.
Yesterday, someone criticized my piece on cross-cultural relating, saying that I must hate my country—and myself—to be willing to critique it. While I didn’t love the manner in which they approached me, I actually found the topic itself fascinating.
It got me thinking: Why do so many of us struggle to hold both appreciation and critique at the same time? Why does questioning something we’re part of—whether that’s a country, a culture, or even a family—so often get mistaken for rejection or self-loathing?
This video is my deep dive into the psychological defenses that fuel blind pride and blind criticism—and why mature pride is so rare.
The Psychological Roots of Blind Pride & Blind Criticism
From a Western psychology perspective (which is my lens here, though I welcome others), these patterns are often rooted in:
Splitting – The tendency to see things as either all good or all bad, rather than holding nuance.
Low Self-Worth – When our identity is fragile, we may over-identify with national pride or, conversely, reject it outright to distance ourselves from shame.
Unresolved Authority Issues – If we never got to have a complex, evolving relationship with authority (parents, teachers, leaders), we may struggle to engage with our country in a way that isn’t either rebellion or obedience.
Difficulty Being a Responsible Group Member – It’s hard to both love and critique something we’re part of—whether that’s a family, a workplace, or a nation. But maturity means wrestling with contradictions rather than avoiding them.
The Fallout When We Don’t Address These Defenses
When we stay stuck in blind pride or blind criticism, we risk:
❌ Intellectual Rigidity – Losing the ability to think critically or adapt to new information.
❌ Polarization – Fueling the “us vs. them” mentality, making it impossible to problem-solve collectively.
❌ Moral Narcissism – When political and cultural opinions become performative rather than thoughtful, driven by self-image rather than inquiry.
❌ Learned Helplessness & Idealization – Either feeling powerless to change anything or assuming someone else (a leader, an ideology) will fix everything.
❌ Struggles in Personal Relationships – The way we engage with collective identity often mirrors the way we engage with others. If we split in our national identity, we probably do it in our personal lives, too.
This is not a conversation about what to believe—it’s an invitation to examine how we think and relate. If we want to communicate better, collaborate across differences, and creatively problem-solve, we have to get curious about the defenses that keep us stuck.
Watch the Video & Let’s Talk
In this video, I unpack all of this with my usual honest, self-deprecating, and curious approach. I don’t have all the answers, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
👇 Watch below and drop your reflections in the comments.
Further Reading
This conversation was sparked by an article I reference in the video, which you can read here:
👉 Interpersonal Relating Across Diversity – Relating Well (and Badly) by A Flawed Funny Therapist
Let’s get a little more conscious together. 🧠✨